MOTHER FUXKING BEET CHIPS / doja cat

It’s been eventful

I’ve been much better

On a car right now to Sabine National Park

Going backpacking for the first time

Exciting

Finished a comp project where I had to write a device driver

Reads and writes

It was a mesa monitor

I need to start a lot earlier

And get a lot less high all the time next time

But I’ve been feeling alright

I don’t know why?

I’ve been spending time with this girl

She’s pretty cool

She makes me laugh

She’s pretty cute when she laughs she crinkles her face up and all

Taiwanese which is interesting

I’m in a strange spot with relationships

And I’m just not feeling commitments

So I don’t think this is too much

But for sure has me thinking about her a bit

She also complimented my appearance?

And I think that was good for my self confidence haha

It’s fun

Having fun

Companionship is nice

I mean you can fucking tell whenever I’m alone on this blog it’s kinda shitty haha

Work wise I’m just still doing the escape room

It’s going good, a lot of people know about it now

We recruited some new members

And have social media posts going out now

A lot of the puzzles are breaking though so

Gotta figure out durability

Job wise I’m stuck

Have no idea what I’m going to be doing

There’s that

I have a lot to fucking offer man

Whoever picks me up

You’re getting a dedicated mother fucker

If you value what you’re getting and see the potential

We spent like a whole night up on the deck until 6 in the morning

Just talking and laughing and smoking

She’s spent the night a couple of times and it’s just been nice

This is the nice part before any complications haha

Andrew Yang dropped our of the race

I hate how little coverage he was getting

I swear it was because he’s asian

Trav says I’m getting racist as I get older lmao

Corona virus is a thing

Uhh zions playing well, 31 points the other night

I’ve been living well though that’s the thing I’ve had friends around me

And not much to worry about

Literally a week or so ago I was fucked

Things change fast and I don’t really know what started to change change

Probably this girl

I think honestly Kobe too

When Kobe died it woke me up from my fucking stupor

I was like

What the fuck am I doing

I do still want to make a mark

I’m 21

I have time but I can’t waste my fucking time

I’m the fittest I’ve ever been in my life

Bíceps are coming to life

I actually look good

I fucking swear

It’s just the beginning too

23 gonna be big

By 25 imma hit my prime

God forbid anything fucked happens

But if it does hey

That’s life

I’ve been having trouble ending these

I had 100 days

A couple of days ago

Went out

Had fun but felt a little empty bc I didn’t know too many seniors

But I still got my people

I really do

I gotta stop thinking like I don’t man

I’m at about 92 days or something

Will make the most out of it

The Good Place Raccoon

It’s super bowl Sunday

For the first time in my life

I don’t want to do big things I don’t think

It seems a little bit pointless

I still love recognition and fame and all

But I don’t know if it truly is worth it

Or if I will be lucky enough to get there

I feel like I’m doing a lot of things but other things completely out of my control are blocking me

But then again you never win until you’re truly down it seems that you succeed so much of the time just when you are about t give up

Went to a public party yesterday

Got caught in line like last year

I was sad bc I actually wanted to go

Just stood outside and got to talk to this friend that I’ve had a crush on since freshman year

It’s less of a crush now because I’m not a freshman in college but still

That made the night a bit better

Walked around, went to Canes with my friends so it wasn’t bad at all

I needed to leave my room

I’ve been fighting this FOmo thing

I need to realize that my life is great

Of course I see every day how my life could be better

Some guy playing ball in the quad with his friends or a couple on scooters following each other

But I don’t see how the same guy has shitty times or when that couple isn’t happy

My motivation is low though

I want people to pick me up after grad

To me for some reason

In my head

I’m feeling like after grad is just death

Like in my head right now I feel like I’m preparing myself for death

And part of that is true because my entire life before is just going to fade more or less

But I also feel like I’ve been watching a really long movie of life

And it just cuts off

I don’t know why

I feel old

I feel like a senior senior

I guess it is the end of this period of life

Which is the death of something

I’m just seeing it as just death lmao

I don’t know what I’m going to do after

I’m a bit scared I just realized I was leaving yesterday

Been having a good time honestly

Been hanging out with friends, played Rock band for the first time in my life

And played till like 6 in the morn

With good friends

Going to watch a Rogers and Hammerstein movie tmr with friends

Watched 1917 with friends the day before

I didn’t think it was anything spectacular really

And going to a free rockets game on Tuesday night

My escape room is good. Did interviews for some new members today

Should be some good additions

A very talented artist and consultant and electrical engineer and mathematician lol

Pretty wild stuff

There was so much demand we had to offer like twice as many slots

Exciting but takes a lot of thought

100 days till grad is Thursday and there’s just a huge party for seniors

I really just wish I had a companion for the end of my time here

But you know

I’m fine without

But am I haha

I need to start having a positive outlook again

I see myself as dark

Like a lone wolf

Isolated

When in fact people know me as someone who knows half of campus

I need to smile and find something that I really like

Something exterior needs to spark something interior

The interior is getting there but a spark would be so nice

Chiefs won

OKC is 7th seed and exceeding expectations

I need to cut my nails jj

I’m practicing Spanish for my trip and I think I’m gradually getting better

Saw Alva today I think and it was great! No actually yesterday

All beautiful days

Sunny

Happy