Friendsgiving Momney

Okay I’m going to write something

I don’t think my body has ever been this in distress for such a long period of time before

Physically and mentally

Mentally I’m trying to think positive and just realize two things

That I’m not going to die and I’ll get over this at some point so just accept the present

And two if I am going to die then that’s that and that’s fine but I’m still here

The pain isn’t excruciating but my god my back

And left shoulder triggering headaches

I got needles put into my leg and my neck the other day that shit hurt like a bitch lmao

I take that back it didn’t hurt that much as make it so sore

Just need rest you know I’m fighting to get my schedule back in order

Thanksgiving was nice had a little lunch with ama and Debbie and mom

I remember the rice was bad and clam soup was bad but mom tried an experiment

I told her I didn’t like family style meals as much because I had no idea how much I’d eaten, giving me less of a notion of how full I was

So she put everything on one plate for me haha so it seemed just like a normal meal

I thought it was interesting for her to remember and think of that

Smoked the day before thanksgiving

We all got together to hang out and we were watching YouTube videos made by friends

Shadow energies and shit

And then we were all definitely high because one of our friends had made some pornos

Very popular on the Hub, like millions of views

And we all just sat there and watched her pornos

Or like had conversations while it was happening in the background on the super wide screen TV

How fucking bizarre huh

Actually blew my mind that that happened when I woke up the next day

Thanksgiving day got back together with the same group and they got food from Costco and such

Was fun! I carved the chicken with help from YouTube, they made great mashed potatoes, there was pumpkin pie

I actually enjoyed my time with this group of friends

Then smoked again and played among us and mafia

Body wasn’t right throughout all of this – like I had a headache all throughout

But I was able to have a good time just by mentally not focusing on that

Day after went down to the other city

I met this girl at this dream apartment remember?

Met up again, this time we hung out with my best friend too

Oh and the night before we smoked – third consecutive night seems fucking wild now

How did I do it everyday for so long

The high from the pen is very two dimensional too – the herb is so much better imo

I miss getting a good fucking high from the grass

Anyways – we like got teas, walked around the rural lake park area, forgot to close a door, played HORSE at the courts, then watched the 2016 Super Bowl

Falcons vs Patriots the classic one

We switched to it bc we were watching Borat and I cannot with borat lmao

So yeah the next day just really studied while I was all foggy from the day before

And met this girl

One of these nights I was going home alone at midnight on a train

And I was in this almost empty carriage

Kind of surreal, still kind of high

And a lil cockroach just strolls down the aisle next to me

Hahaha gotta love it

Today I got back and just like went to the real nice library to learn

Reading about Steve Jobs

Learning about physics and quantum

Web dev learning is picking up actually I think I’m getting my bearings

Film and Spanish have stagnated a bit, as with cooking

Applying to jobs still

Oh and Lara is in the homeland now too how wack is that

I reached out after not talking for 5 months

Had a moment of realization that I’ve been here for 5 months

2 doctors tomorrow one for my intestines which hadn’t improved and one for my leg

We’ll see what they have to say but I have to just step free from these doctor appointments

Or rather I can’t wait until I get to

Yeah I had a realization of just how long I’ve been here

I need to accept that my plans have changed and it’s alright and I might just develop here for a bit

This chapter of my life has gotten me much more comfortable with the unknown

And operating even when you’re not 100%

So I appreciate it even through the physical pain

I also realized that I’ve had great times with some of my closest friends

As well as made a TON of new friends to be honest

Would have never had the opportunity to spend time with childhood friends and just hang out u know were just fucking around

We’ll almost definitely look back and cherish that aspect of this time

I’ll keep breathing fire and just trusting that everything will eventually fall into place

Watched Steve Jobs 2005 commencement speech today and he was like trust the dots will connect

I’m trusting